Empty

It's amazing to me, how big and cold and empty my home is with out Brandon here to warm it and fill it with his silliness and smiles and messes. Never mind that I only dropped him off at the airport yesterday morning. When I got back, and walked into the house, I just stopped and looked around, overwhelmed with the knowledge that I would be the only one here in this big empty space for the next month. At first I didn't know what to do with myself. I wandered aimlessly for a bit, then gave myself a mental shake and went about doing what I always do when I'm at home by myself, when he's at work. I crocheted a little, I cross-stitched a little, I cleaned a little, and when it got to be late enough, I spent a good two hours on the phone with my mom.

Pitiful, right? It's hard to believe that I was ever able to deal with him going out to sea for long periods of time, when he was on the ship. It was hard, of course, but I don't remember ever feeling so...lost, so soon after he left. Maybe because I'm pregnant, and being more sentimental and emotional? Or because I've become spoiled in the time that we've been stationed here, and we've not been separated for more than a week or two? Or because here, I'm removed from my family support structure, which was close at hand when we were stationed in Jacksonville? Or perhaps, it is a combination of all three elements, conspiring together against me.

Ahh well. I think I will be spending a lot of time in the shop in the coming month. There is some sewing I want to get done...and a thing or two I want to frame... and what time like the present, right? I'll not be a watering pot, pining for him alone at home, that's for sure.

Ok, that's enough of the maudlin and melodramatic from me.
End post.