Coming to the End...and the Beginning

It's hard to believe that I'm into the last month of the last trimester, but it's true. We are both healthy, and for the most part, things are as they should be. I am as big as a house, or I feel that way anyway. Big and clumsy, like a beached whale. I'm up to 152 lbs, but it's still all in my belly, so I really can't complain. The doctor tells me that everything is good: my weight, blood pressure, blood sugar and iron levels, and who knows what else. It's all good. All the things I'm feeling--achy back, swollen feet, fatigue-- are perfectly normal for a woman in her last month of pregnancy, and I'd say I've got it good. Especially that since now Brandon is home from Virginia (yay!) I have someone to help me put on my shoes and rub my back. :) Still, I'm certainly feeling ready for Elora to make her appearance, and to move on to the next stage.

Elora herself is getting big too. She's up to nearly 6 lbs, according to the sonogram calculations. She's just about out of room in there... I can feel every little move she makes. I feel her squirming all the time, so I think I must even be feeling her twitch in her sleep!

The only hiccup is that she is still breech, and because she is so big, it isn't likely that she will be turning sometime in the next few weeks. So, Dr Krauss has recommended that we deliver by scheduled cesarean instead of waiting for me to go into labor on my own, and Dr. Mayer at the hospital agrees with him. I'm not too excited about this, but they have both assured me that this is what will be safest for me and Elora both. I'd kind of expected that I would need to deliver by cesarean, so I was prepared for that much at least, but I hadn't anticipated that they would want to go ahead and schedule it. I guess I'd been thinking that they would just do it, when I went into labor. But they would like to avoid an "emergency" cesarean, so we have scheduled it for about 2 weeks prior to my due date in the hope that I will not go into "spontaneous labor" before then. Monday, March 23 is the magic day; a few days earlier would be too soon, and a few days later is cutting it too close to my due date. They've asked me to go in mid-afternoon on Sunday, they will deliver Elora early the next morning, and Dr. Mayer said I can expect to be sent home on Friday or Saturday. I will be awake for the procedure, and they will allow Brandon to be in the room with me. Thank goodness! It'll be such a relief to have him by my side, holding my hand. And, they don't have an all-cesarean-babies-go-immediately-to-ICU policy, so (if all is as it should be) I will still get to hold her right away.

It's a pretty scary prospect. For all that it will be much faster, and will allow me to bypass the wait-and-see anxiety of waiting to go into labor and the pain of labor itself, and will be a less stressful transition for Elora, the operation is scarier to me than natural childbirth. Perhaps because my body was designed to accommodate that sort of delivery, but not to be cut openn. Even expecting it as I was, it seems both more imminent and more final, to have it penciled in my calendar. And I'm feeling a bit short-changed, as if I'm going to miss some element of the experience that should rightfully be mine. But, I'm smart enough to realize that unless she turns (which is highly doubtful) this is the best thing for both of us. That is the most important thing, and my fears frustrations and disappointment pale by comparison. I still feel all of those things (I think I would be crazy not to!) but they are tempered by the knowledge that this is what's best for my baby.

So, there you have it folks! Bran and I will be proud new parents, just 3 short weeks from now. I have one more check up between now and then, but I don't think I'll be doing another update unless there us something big to share. The next baby post, then, will probably be a birth announcement. Crazy, huh?

Happy!!

My Brandon is home, safe, sound, and back in my arms, where he belongs. All is right in my world. :)

Empty

It's amazing to me, how big and cold and empty my home is with out Brandon here to warm it and fill it with his silliness and smiles and messes. Never mind that I only dropped him off at the airport yesterday morning. When I got back, and walked into the house, I just stopped and looked around, overwhelmed with the knowledge that I would be the only one here in this big empty space for the next month. At first I didn't know what to do with myself. I wandered aimlessly for a bit, then gave myself a mental shake and went about doing what I always do when I'm at home by myself, when he's at work. I crocheted a little, I cross-stitched a little, I cleaned a little, and when it got to be late enough, I spent a good two hours on the phone with my mom.

Pitiful, right? It's hard to believe that I was ever able to deal with him going out to sea for long periods of time, when he was on the ship. It was hard, of course, but I don't remember ever feeling so...lost, so soon after he left. Maybe because I'm pregnant, and being more sentimental and emotional? Or because I've become spoiled in the time that we've been stationed here, and we've not been separated for more than a week or two? Or because here, I'm removed from my family support structure, which was close at hand when we were stationed in Jacksonville? Or perhaps, it is a combination of all three elements, conspiring together against me.

Ahh well. I think I will be spending a lot of time in the shop in the coming month. There is some sewing I want to get done...and a thing or two I want to frame... and what time like the present, right? I'll not be a watering pot, pining for him alone at home, that's for sure.

Ok, that's enough of the maudlin and melodramatic from me.
End post.

photo session & a new bed

We had our maternity photo session with Leslie yesterday, and it went great! We spent almost the entire time laughing, usually at one of Brandon's clever quips. Really, it's fun to do pretty much anything with Brandon. And Leslie is just wonderful, I'm already looking forward to working with her again for the newborn session, once Elora gets here. :) Now I'm just waiting for her to get our picture gallery set up, so that we can look at all the great (I know they will be great!!) pictures she took. I'm so excited!


After our photo session on RB, we headed back to Panzer to FINALLY pick up the new bed frame and head board that we ordered from AAFES. It's really rather ridiculous...we ordered them a good 6 months ago. They called us to let us know that the frame had come in sometime in September, but we decided to wait to pick it up until the headboard came in as well. We heard nothing from them (I even went in to check on it a time or two) until last week, when someone from customer service called to ask if we had received the headboard. Apparently they had lost it somewhere along the line, so she was going to look into it and get back to me the next day. Since she never called back, I went in on Friday to ask...again. It seems that not only had they tracked it down, but it was sitting in the back right next to my bed frame. It would have been nice, if someone had called to let us know. Anyway, we picked it up yesterday and got it put together. It was frustrating, because the headboard had obviously been thrown around a lot, despite a large label that read "HANDLE WITH CARE". The silly thing was bent at the top, so that one of the decorative balls leans over to the side. But it was such a nightmare just trying to get the thing that we decided that we could live with it. You don't really notice, anyway, unless you look for it. So, we finally have a bed frame and head board, where before we had none. It's kind of weird, getting used to having the bed up off the floor again. All in all, I'm happy with it, and Brandon is happy with it, and that's what matters. :)

28 Week Update

I have nothing but good things to share... Elora moves around and kicks a lot, especially when I lay down to go to bed. It doesn't bother me in the least, though; she hasn't been keeping me up at night and I rather enjoy feeling her move around. Sometimes, I will just prop myself up with pillows and watch my belly move. She has also gotten large enough that I can often feel her when she is pressed against the outer wall of my stomach. It's something of a game for us to try to guess which bit of her we're feeling. Usually, it's only a general guess ("well, that's pretty sharp, it must be a knee or elbow" or, "hmm, that feels round. I guess it's her head...or her butt.") but it's still fun. I am up to 145 lbs, my waistline is just shy of 40", and the doctor tells me that everything is good. It's frustrating, though, that a lot of the maternity clothes that I acquired early on are now getting too small. But I do have others that fit me now, so it's ok. I'm just setting the smaller stuff aside for the next go-round.

Because she's getting bigger and running out of room in her current accommodations, it's getting harder for Brandon and I to tell what we're looking at during the sonograms. Some things are still clear. We saw her foot in such detail that I could count her little toes, and I can tell you with relative certainty that she has Brandon's nose. But for most of the things that the doctor pointed out to us, I at least had to take the good doctor's word for it. According to Elora's measurements (taken from the sonogram), we are still looking at a due date in the first week of April. And, notably, she's already got herself turned around so that her head is toward the floor, and the doctor tells us that it is unlikely that she will shift back around. (So, we don't need to worry about her trying to emerge bum-first.) We also did one of those stress test things today, which measures the baby's heart beat and my breathing over a span of about 15 min, and that was perfectly normal. It was cool, because not only did I get to lay there and listen to her heart beat for a good 15 minutes, but every time she moved it got picked up by the machine and made a sound like someone tapping a microphone. The closer the movement to the sensor, the louder the sound. I think that the sensor was cramping her space where it pressed into my belly, because she kept kicking right at it. I thought it was kind of funny, because she could have shifted away from it, but instead she kept trying to push the thing away. It was cute. :) Anyway, I'm not sure, but I think that they'll be doing that regularly now that I'm into my third trimester. Also, from here on out, I'll be going every 2 weeks for check ups, instead of every 4. You know what that means, right? More pictures!! ^_^

Speaking of which...In the picture that we got this time around, you can see yet another profile of her face. It isn't a very good one though...the way it's focused, it makes her look like a little Cyrano de Bergerac. But like I said, we can pretty much tell that she has Bran's nose. :) Anyway, her forehead is on the right and her chin is on the left.

In other news, Brandon will be headed back to the States at the beginning of February for a few weeks of training. He'll be gone for the whole month, which has us a bit bummed. It'll be the longest we've been apart since he left the ship, and he'll be missing Valentine's Day and my birthday. But, on the other hand, those events can be celebrated anytime, and I am grateful that he's going in February instead of in March or April. And Brandon is excited to be going, because he's been wanting to be sent for this training for years. Actually, I think the timing is pretty good...If it had fallen in March or April, I don't think his command would have made him go, and I would have insisted that he not volunteer. (If they make him miss something important, like the birth of our child, that's one thing, but if he has a choice, it's quite another thing entirely.) And, before her birth is better than after...this way, he won't have to miss out on spending time with her while she's tiny. So yes, I will miss him terribly, but I think it's worked out well all around.

Home Again, Home Again

Whew!! As awesome as it was to visit Florida Home, it's wonderful to get back to Germany home. I missed my bed, and my kitty, and having my husband all to myself, among many other things. I knew it would be, so the leaving was bitter-sweet. The flight was awful--no, I can't say that. Our return trip home went as smoothly as one could hope for: no delays, or lost luggage, or even changed gates. It was just really long, and really hard on my back. I must say that it was quite a shock, to find the temperature well below freezing. I've been monitoring the weather here for the last few days, and I'd been led to believe that I could expect weather in the lower 30's. But when we landed in Stuttgart, it was in the teens!! Big difference from temps in the 70's, in sunny Florida. Anyway, I'm glad to have it (the flight) over with and to be back home again. I was dumb and took a nap as soon as I got here, intending to sleep for only an hour or two, but four hours later I still didn't want to crawl out from under the nice warm covers, which were inherently better than any covers I've used over the past 2 weeks, because they are on my bed. But crawl out I did. I'm unpacked, and the laundry is started. Hopefully I'll still be able to sleep tonight.

I have no idea when we will be able to make it back again, but I am not too worried about it. With the baby coming in a little less than 3 months, our lives will be full to bursting with all the changes (and joys!) she will bring. And, we're expecting lots of visitors this summer, to welcome Elora to the family. So they will bring a bit of Florida Home with them. ^_^

Happy New Year!!

It was so amazing to be back home for new year's. Brandon's mom always puts on the most amazing new year's eve party, and this year was no exception. It was awesome, because EVERYONE was here... Friends and family came in literally from all over the world to be here, and it's the first time in years that Bran's whole high school "gang" was all in the same place at the same time. My best friend was here from California too, and there were several representatives from "my" side of the family. It was just amazing to have everyone all in one place, celebrating together. Seriously, if I keep going, I'm going to start crying. It was just what I needed. I love Germany, but I've been homesick for all of these people and it felt so good to be here again. I will have this memory to treasure until the next time that we can all be home together again.

Ok...*sniffle*...I'm good now. Done being mushy.

Anyway, a good time was had by all, which I think is pretty obvious if you look at any of the pictures from last night. I took a ton of pictures! I can't believe no one yelled at me for constantly blinding them with my flash. ^_^